Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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