i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
