she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize