i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
