told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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