I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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