what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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