you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
