hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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