It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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