I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
