Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry 1badmnkee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".

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(803): View more from South Carolina

have you facebook stalked him yet?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

No, I don’t know his last name...

(803): View more from South Carolina

Just google his license plate numb

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(757): View more from Virginia

It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

explains the nose bleeds.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.

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(913): View more from Kansas

i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell

(816): View more from Missouri

please tell me you are kidding me

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(815): View more from Illinois

I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

where are my pants?

(908): View more from New Jersey

in the oven.

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