I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
