Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
