I think I just saw someone hide a body.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
