I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
