You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The struggles of a small town man whore
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
