dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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