I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize