i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
