This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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