my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize