the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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