It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
