we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
