He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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