I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
