Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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