but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
