I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
