You're a womanizer and a bitch.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
