im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
