i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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