Only a mothe r could love this liver
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize