I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
