I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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