Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
