Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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