What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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