My first STD was from a foam party
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
