i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Im part way to drunk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
