You were right. It hurts to walk today.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
