How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
pray to the hookup gods
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
