Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
