mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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