I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
