BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
