It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize