Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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