fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
