She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
