Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize