all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
