new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
