he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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