Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
