I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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