How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
