Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
