Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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