What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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