I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize