pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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