apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
