I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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