But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
