It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
