she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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