i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
