You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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