Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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