so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
