ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
