I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My vagina just clenched in fear
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
