grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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