I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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