Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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